As an added bonus, they are a little cuter than the Maidenform undies that have been my go-to for no VPL. Specifically, they have a line they call Vanishing Edge that promises no VPL. Thanks to a recent holiday sale, I decided to try a totally new brand for me: Soma. (I’m tired of going into the supply closet at work, pretending to need more post-it notes, when I’m really reaching down the back of my pixie pants to pull up my sagging unders.) I found these by Maidenform, which don’t give me any VPL if I size up, but they stretch out pretty quickly and end up sliding down my ass. They are my cute and comfortable nighttime panties.) (Like these, from The Gap, that are cute and comfy, but cause VPL. ![]() Usually any underwear that fits snugly enough to stay put cuts into the square sack of mango pulp that is my middle-aged white ass, causing visible panty lines. Until recently, I have always had to choose between no VPL and no riding up. By do it all, I mean: No panty lines, no riding up my ass, cute, and comfortable. I keep trying new underwear in search of the holy grail: the one pair of underwear that can do it all. (I also have a handful of thongs I bought a whim that are shoved in the corner of the drawer and never see the light of day – or the crack of my ass. (This has never happened, but I like to be prepared.) I have different categories of underwear: no VPL daytime, cute and comfortable nighttime, granny panty comfortable nighttime, sexy nighttime, and no VPL workout. I’m one of those people who, when going on vacation, packs enough underwear to comfortably shit myself three times per day without running out. ![]() ![]() (Should I be using affiliate links? Shit, I’m too lazy to figure out how to do that.) I’m not making any money by sharing this with you. I’m also not trying to rope you into some dubious panty pyramid scheme. I have literally found the cute, no VPL, no wedgie drawers that are going to make your life better, and I’m on a mission to tell every woman about it. Let’s get one thing out of the way, right off the top: The perfect underwear isn’t some metaphor for self-actualization or nirvana.
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